Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Best Uniforms in Baseball

Baseball is a classy game.

In a classy game (that is about 150 years old, by the way), all the players have to look classy. Baseball jerseys reflect the "gentleman's game" aspect of the sport. They have pinstripes, cursive script, belts, buttons and every other tool of class available in a wardrobe. In short, they look fly as hell.

I would like to take a moment to honor the modern baseball jersey. And what better way to do it than the thing I do best: make a list. What follows is a list of all the baseball jerseys in the sport that stretches from the very worst to the very best.

How did I judge these uniforms, you ask? Very simple, I used the tried and true (i.e just made up) Bojay's 5X5 method. I ranked teams jerseys on a scale of 1-5 in 5 different categories: Home jersey, away jersey, alternate jersey(s), hat and Wildcard. The Wildcard is simply a category to take other aspects into affect like the cultural impact of the uniform, the history, or just to inflate the score a little more.

It took some time, some simple math and a lot of neglected homework, but in the end I got all teams ranked 30-1. Here is where they fall:


30. Seattle Mariners - 2.0
Home: 3 Away: 2 Alternate: 1 Hat: 2 WC: 2
29. Toronto Blue Jays - 2.2
Home: 1 Away: 3 Alternate: 4 Hat: 1 WC: 2
28. Arizona Diamondbacks - 2.22
Home: 3 Away: 2 Alternate: 2 Hat: 3 WC: 1
27. Florida Marlins - 2.6
Home: 3 Away: 4 Alternate: 2 Hat: 2 WC: 2
26. Tampa Bay Rays - 2.75
Home: 3 Away: 1 Alternate: - Hat: 4 WC: 3
25. Houston Astros - 2.8
Home: 3 Away: 2 Alternate: 1 Hat: 4 WC: 4
24. San Diego Padres - 3.0
Home: 2 Away: 5 Alternate: 1 Hat: 5 WC: 2
23. Minnesota Twins - 3.0
Home: 3 Away: 2 Alternate: 4 Hat: 4 WC: 2
22. Milwaukee Brewers - 3.0
Home: 4 Away: 3 Alternate: 4 Hat: 2 WC: 2
21. Chicago White Sox - 3.0
Home: 4 Away: 3 Alternate: 2 Hat: 3 WC: 3
20. Baltimore Orioles - 3.0
Home: 4 Away: 2 Alternate: 2 Hat: 4 WC: 3
19. Washington Nationals - 3.2
Home: 4 Away: 3 Alternate: 2 Hat: 4 WC: 3
18. Colorado Rockies - 3.2
Home: 2 Away: 3 Alternate: 5 Hat: 3 WC: 3
17. St. Louis Cardinals - 3.25
Home: 4 Away: 4 Alternate: - Hat: 3 WC: 2
16. Los Angeles Dodgers- 3.25
Home:4 Away: 2 Alternate: - Hat: 4 WC: 3
15. Los Angeles Angels- 3.4
Home: 4 Away: 2 Alternate: 4 Hat: 3 WC: 4
14. New York Mets - 3.4
Home: 4 Away: 4 Alternate: 2 Hat: 4 WC: 3
13. Oakland Athletics - 3.4
Home: 4 Away: 3 Alternate: 1 Hat: 5 WC: 4
12. Boston Red Sox - 3.6
Home: 4 Away: 2 Alternate: 3 Hat: 5 WC: 4
11. Texas Rangers - 3.6
Home: 3 Away: 4 Alternate: 5 Hat: 3 WC: 3
10. Pittsburgh Pirates - 3.6
Home: 5 Away: 4 Alternate: 1 Hat: 4 WC: 4
9. Detroit Tigers - 3.75
Home: 5 Away: 2 Alternate: - Hat: 5 WC: 3
8. Philadelphia Phillies - 3.8
Home: 4 Away: 4 Alternate: 3 Hat: 4 WC: 4
7. Cleveland Indians - 3.8
Home: 4 Away: 4 Alternate: 3 Hat: 5 WC: 3
6. Atlanta Braves - 3.8
Home: 3 Away: 3 Alternate: 3 Hat: 5 WC: 5
5. Kansas City Royals - 3.8
Home: 5 Away: 3 Alternate: 4 Hat: 4 WC: 3
4. San Francisco Giants - 4.25
Home: 5 Away: 4 Alternate: - Hat: 3 WC: 5
3. Cincinatti Reds - 4.4
Home: 5 Away: 4 Alternate: 3 Hat: 5 WC: 5
2. New York Yankees - 4.5
Home: 5 Away: 3 Alternate: - Hat: 5 WC: 5
1. Chicago Cubs - 4.6
Home: 5 Away: 4 Alternate: 4 Hat: 5 WC: 5

So, that was the list. I can't begin to pretend like it is the most objective list in the world. The Indians are my team and as such I am exposed to far more AL teams than NL teams and of those AL teams, I am exposed to the AL Central teams the most. In the interest of full disclosure and fairness, these are my average uniforms scores for all the divisions in baseball:

AL East - 3.21
AL Central - 3.47
AL West - 3.10
NL East - 3.36
NL Central - 3.65
NL West - 3.17
AL - 3.26
NL - 3.53

The numbers for Midwest teams seem to indicate my Ohio-Central U.S bias, but what can't really be accounted for is the NL's absolute dominance over the AL (.27 is a rather large margin of victory), considering that I support an AL team. I also seem to like all baseball jerseys in general quite a bit. There wasn't a single team that score below 2.0 and what's more, there are only five teams that fell below the middle score of 3.0, meaning that I find 83% of all Major League Baseball uniforms to be at or above the average quality.

All in all, this isn't the most objective list, but then again; I am not the most objective person. I would love to see what a non-baseball-fan thinks of the best and worst uniforms in baseball

That's all for this week. Next week I will get back on track with all the off-season action and there was a lot of it, trust me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

At least the Pirates can be in the top down in appearance if not any performance categories. My lips predict that others will borrow your ranking system

Anonymous said...

5. Kansas City Royals - 3.8
Home: 5 Away: 3 Alternate: 4 Hat: 4 WC: 3

yay!